Self love — it seems like the easiest thing. The words “self” and “love” placed together side by side to fuse into a thought, an action, and a way of life — it is the hardest thing to do for most people.
It is for me.
We were raised in so many different ways, in so many different environments and circumstances — it cannot be calculated, there is no algorithm to explain how we came to not realize that we did not know how to love ourselves.
It seems in modern slang a “no brainer”. But if we tarry for a moment, we would notice that there has been many examples of how we did not learn to love who we are.
There is no need to make a list. I believe we are all aware of what those examples and instances are.
The question to ask is How and Why.
How we came to not be able to love who we are is quite simple — it is stemmed from everything we have ever lived, experienced, heard, read, seen, touched, felt that has made us choose to see who we are as small, insufficient and incomplete.
A simple example would be Jerry McGuire’s famous line of “You complete me”.
Why is also an easy answer — because we need love.
Uttering the words and acknowledging the words “Need” is almost unacceptable. We associate the word need with the term “needy” and we do not wish to be “needy”. It is almost perceived in present times as a dirty, foul word.
To be in need means to lack, to be incomplete, and to admit that we are without.
To acknowledge that we need love seems to be a declaration of an unsatisfactory state of mind. I use the word “State” because it is not an ongoing program that we notice all the time in our minds and in our hearts.
But just because we do not notice it, does not mean it is not there.
We do not want to feel it nor accept that we have a need for love. We were schooled in so many different ways to seek it outside of us. We seek love in different forms knowingly and unknowingly.
We were taught hunger and to want. This often leads us to reach outside for satisfaction and gratification.
When we do not receive or obtain what we have gone in search of — the natural instinct is for our minds to conceive a story, a scenario to explain the hurt, the shortfall, and disappointment.